filler quiz part 2

I'm too ashamed to write anything. Normal service resumes next week. Actually I do have something planned, so it might actually be worth reading.

Edit: I may not have the internet next weekend, so I will try to get the blog up at some point, but it may be a tad late. Sorry y'all, but this one is actually out of my control.

Shitty quiz, questions 26-50:

26. What kind of car do you drive?

I don’t… yet

27. What word in the dictionary best describes you?

Awesome?

28. What’s your blog address?

Funny you should ask that actually… http://theinanerantingsofme.blogspot.com/

29. Worst TV show at the moment?

All of them?

30. Are you a better talker or better listener?

Talker, other people’s opinion don’t matter

31. Do you care about who wins the election?

Yes, but I can’t vote

32. Who was the most popular kid in your 7th grade class?

Who cares?

33. Are you afraid of ghosts?

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.

34. Is there something lacking in your life right now?

Yes, a soul

35. What do you miss most about childhood?

Freedom without responsibility

36. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test?

None, yet

37. How many kids do you want?

None, ever

38. Are you a good liar?

Yes… (haha, I think they believed me)

39. Can you cook?

I make a mean cheese on toast

40. Are you a cheapskate?

Absolutely

41. What would you do with a million dollars?

Hookers and blow

42. Have you been to Disney World?

Yes

43. How much time do you spend online a week?

Far too much

44. Last time you went bowling?

A couple of months ago, I wasn’t very good.

45. Hot or cold weather?

Hot

46. How many pairs of shoes do you have?

Too many for any heterosexual male

47. Are you a shop-a-holic?

Only for books

48. Where were you yesterday morning at 10:30?

In bed, with your mum (wow, I got to 48 without a ‘you mum’ joke)

49. Are you afraid of the dentist?

The only thing to fear is fear itself.

50. Were you bored or entertained by this survey?

Utterly bored, as were my readers. I hate you.

filler quiz part 1

Oh god oh god! Why can I not write anything worthwhile? Why do I fail so hard? Why am I resorting to a quiz I found online? Why am i asking so many questions?

Writers block + busy life = filler time. Next week is worse, so more filler. Que angry emails from everyone.

Shitty quiz, questions 1-25:

1. Are you wearing a hat?

No, should I be?

2. Bottled water: yes or no?

No, bottled water is just overpriced tap water.

3. Do you have a crush on someone right now?

If I told you that I‘d have to kill you.

4. What kind of laptop do you have?

A Dell Studio 17

5. Do you prefer writing in pen or pencil?

I prefer typing… but if pushed I’d have to say pen

6. Who was the last text message in your phone from?

My driving instructor… I don’t have any friends worth texting

7. What’s your favourite season?

Summer, not that we ever get one in England

8. Does your best friend have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Some of them do (and I am in no way jealous)

9. Do you like them?

I like everyone… apart from the person who made this quiz and me for not having the motivation to do anything more worthwhile than this quiz.

10. Favorite radio station?

Planet Rock

11. Type your name into Google. What’s the first link that pops up?

http://www.alexmason.net/ random

12. What’s your favourite song at the moment?

Um um um um… I dunno, I’m liking the sound of Uprising by Muse

13. Coke or Pepsi?

Coke, although I preferred it when they still put cocaine in it.

14. Favourite subject in school?

History

15. Last concert?

Rise Against, last February

16. Next concert?

Porcupine Tree in December I hope

17. Last magazine you bought?

I can’t even remember

18. Last book you read?

Plebs and Politics in the Late Roman Republic (yes I am a complete nerd…)

19. Do you prefer cats or dogs?

Cats

20. Is there someone you want to punch right now?

Yes, whoever wrote this quiz

21. Favourite sports team?

Worcester Warriors

22. State you most want to visit?

Well aren’t we American? I’m gonna interpret ‘state’ as ‘country’ and say Australia

23. Are you an internet addict?

Most definitely

24. When do you shower?

Once a month, whether I need it or not… not really, that’s horrible, usually once a day

25. What’s your dream job?

Something where I do no work and get paid lots

Sure is filler round here.

A stunning distraction

Due to a complete lack of any inspiration for a blog this week, I thought I'd just show you some really cool shit instead to distract you from my failure. This distraction takes the form of some artwork done on the sides of building. He takes bland buildings like this:

And transforms them into this:

Some other examples of his work include this wall:

Trasnsformed into this:

Or this boring concrete wall in a carpark:

Into this:

I wonder just how many birds fly into this wall every day.

It's hard to believe that this is actually a flat wall, his use of perspective and the realism of his architecture is phenomenal.

Must try harder

No blog this week because I'm tired and lazy. Deal with it. Here's an amusing video instead.

Hur hur funny picture

Fuck it. I had something panned for today, but it was shit. Leave me alone, nothing to see here.

Here’s a funny picture.



Yes Barak Obama is getting a blow job from some kid hur hur.


I feel ashamed that I find this funny and so should you.

Not what I had in mind

I was going to talk about my new laptop today, but I can’t, because it hasn’t arrived yet. Which means I have to talk about something worthwhile this weeks and wait ‘till next week to complain about vista or something. I may also have mentioned last week that I am planning to introduce something I’m going to be doing in the early part of this year, but then I realised how bad an idea that was to it has been thrown into my pile of bad ideas along with becoming a superhero and jumping into a massive pie and eating my way out (it was tempting to write ‘and fucking your mum’, but I like to feel that I’m more mature than that.)

To be honest I’m struggling under the weight of my extreme apathy to care about anything enough to write anything about it, so I’m just going to post some funny stuff that someone decided would amuse me so emailed it to me. Some of it was pretty funny; some of it was pretty drab. I’ll only post the funny bit because I’m nice.

Here are some (supposedly) genuine Customer Support Calls:

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

Customer: I keep getting inappropriate pop-ups on my computer and don't want my wife to think that it's me.

Advisor: I will remove them for you.

Customer: How do I get them back when she is not in?

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

Tech support: How may I help you?

Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.

Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?

Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

And here are some (again, supposedly) genuine items from an aircraft maintenance log.

Problem: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.

Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

Problem: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

Solution: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud

Solution: DME volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

Solution: That’s what they’re there for.

Problem: IFF inoperative.

Solution: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

Problem: Suspected crack in windshield.

Solution: Suspect you’re right.

Problem: Number 3 engine missing.

Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem: Aircraft handles funny.

Solution: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Problem: Target radar hums.

Solution: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

Problem: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer. (Who says that exactly?)

Solution: Took hammer away from midget.

Sorry for that being a complete cop-out, but I hope it was entertaining. I might even make an effort next week.